Sometimes it is easy to say you can do something without any experience.
Were the doctors, nurses and physical therapists correct? Would we be optimistic, inexperienced well-wishers without a clue what home health care was all about? Yes and NO! Yes, we had no idea on just how much work would be required. No, we are not quitters and will do anything we can to be successful, at least for now.
Have you ever had to take care of a loved one at home?
If you have, my heart goes out to you. You have my unending admiration!
Isn't it strange how when your life "hits the fan" so many other people you come in contact with are going through the same experience.
No one really wants to share the horror and joy of full-time health care for a family member. You end up experiencing both extremes at the end of the pendulum swing.
Some days are so precious, you would never give them up for all the "gold in the world."
On other days, when personalities grate, fears of death and permanent disablement surface and financial worries rear their ugly heads, you wonder "What was I thinking?" "How in the world did my life change so dramatically in a moment of time"
Most people who are going though this babyboomer nightmare, don't want to whine or whimper, but share their feelings with those going through the same thing.
Especially with parents, you are trapped in a "Catch 22" ..."damned if you do and damned if you don't!" When the cataclysmic event occurs, you are traumatized in a predictable way. "Will your parent live or die...survive the event and make it alive out of the hospital?"
Did you also used to think that when a person dropped dead, it was a terrible curse?
Now it seems the people who drop dead suddenly are the truly blessed. The long term suffering from the damage caused by Alzheimer's, stroke, heart attack and other quality-of-life destroying diseases affects everyone in the family. Your heart goes out to the afflicted, but you cry for your own situation.
24 hour health care toll is heaviest on those who fight the battle every day.
Usually, the spouses, most often the wives, are forced into this position. In a society where men often make more money that women, the man must keep working to pay the bills...even if it is his parent or parents health that fails.
My reason for not writing on this blog for over two weeks is a chain of catastrophic events that destroys your ability to do anything other than attend to the crisis occurring at that moment in time.
The Sunday morning after Janet returned from visiting her family in Dallas, mom work me up in the early morning saying, "I cannot breathe!" Immediately, we leapt into action. Janet said she would take care of dad while I raced mom to the emergency ward. Mom was coughing and fighting the dry heaves. The entire time I was wondering, "Is this it?"
The emergency ward nurses immediately admitted mom to try to stabilize the congestive heart failure.
Sitting in the waiting room, wondering" where my life had gone", I called my sister to either go over to the house to help Janet with the dad or come wait at the hospital to see what happened to mom.
When you are dealing with the poor health of both parents, the burden on the care givers escalates exponentially.
Your life is not your own. Someone has to always be with either one or both of the parents. You don't know when a emergency trip to the hospital is required, diapers need to be changed, sorrow needs to be replaced with hope....it is endless.
Mom was difficult to stabilize so she was admitted and styed three days, only to arrive home with a sever cough.
After a stay in the hospital, with all the emergency procedures, the patient is exhausted. Usually, there is so much noise, the person does not sleep well. Doing everything according to hospital time requires being forced awake every two hours for blood tests, heart rate evaluation, etc.
There is an extreme amount of anger when your personal power is usurped by hospital staff.
You would be angry to if all your freedom to make your own decisions was instantly removed. Hospital stays are no fun. Who wants to be poked, prodded, MRIed and punctured on a daily basis. Lets face the facts, going to the hospital "sucks big time."
What do you do when all your time is invested in just taking care of your parents?
Unless you have tons of money and can hire individuals to provide 24 hour care, prayer and trust in God is your only hope. You have to believe that God will provide for your needs in miraculous ways. This takes a huge leap of faith...especially when you don't know where the money is coming from...but God does deliver us and does take care of our needs...
To Be Continued...
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